How to Make Love to Your Husband in Islam?

A wife must always ensure to follow the Qur’anic paradigm while making love to her husband. She needs to be loving, understanding, and kind towards her husband during this act. We shall discuss how to make love to your husband in Islam.

In Islam, understanding “How to Make Love to Your Husband in Islam” is guided by principles of love, respect, and intimacy. The Quran and Hadith emphasize the importance of maintaining a fulfilling and affectionate relationship within the bounds of marriage. Communication, emotional connection, and physical affection play pivotal roles in strengthening the marital bond. Seeking knowledge and guidance from Islamic scholars can further help couples navigate this aspect of their relationship in accordance with Islamic teachings.  

“The most perfect of believers are those most perfect of character, and the best of you are the best of you to your spouses.” – Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban“And of His signs is this: He created for you spouses from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect.”

– Quran 30:21

 How to Make Love to Your Husband in Islam | 6 Proven Ways

How to Make Love to Your Husband in Islam
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“One of you should not fulfill one’s (sexual) need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of kissing and words.”

– Musnad al-Firdaws Of al-Daylami; 2/55

1. Be ready to Serve your Husband when he Desires 

One of the ideal ways to make love to your husband is to serve him sexually whenever he desires. Provided that you are in good health, you must accept his request to make love. Your negligence or reluctance can be a reason to move your husband away from you. If you, as a wife, refuse to have sexual intercourse with your husband, then you’ll be cursed by the angels.

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلَى فِرَاشِهِ فَأَبَتْ فَبَاتَ غَضْبَانَ عَلَيْهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ (بخارى ، رقم:٣٠٦٥) 

As reported by Abu Hurayrah from Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) -“When a husband calls his wife to bed, and she refuses and [as a result] the husband spends the night in anger, then angels curse the wife all night till dawn.”

It is vital that you understand the following –

  1. They bound both the husband and the wife to safeguard the chastity of each other. You and your husband should legitimately satisfy each other’s sexual urges. To preserve the family unit & create a sustainable family, it is essential that a man and a woman protect their chastity.
  2. If either you or your husband is genuinely sick, in a grim mood, or tired upon a mutual decision, you may refuse to serve each other’s needs. This will not entail the wrath of Allah SWT.

2. Cleanse Yourself Before & After Making Love 

It is obligatory for you and your husband to clean yourself before you proceed with making love. So, we recommend that you take a shower beforehand. This will ensure that you feel fresh and smell good at the same time.

Looking good is the first step to satisfying your husband. This is undoubtedly one of the best attributes that any husband would look for. 

3. Obligatory to Perform Foreplay Before Making Love

Perform Foreplay Before Making Love

It is very important that you engage in foreplay during sexual intercourse. This is especially important for the wife. Foreplay is a crucial ingredient for a happy marriage. So couples should never neglect it.

It ensures that the husband fulfills the wife’s desires. There can be terrible consequences if your husband and your needs remain unsatisfied throughout the marriage.

This is exactly why the Prophet Muhammad forbade having sexual intercourse with no form of foreplay. Spouses have every right to be guaranteed sexual pleasure while making love.   

As reported by Imam Ibn al-Qayyim in his famous; Tibb al-Nabawi – ” that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) forbade from engaging in sexual intercourse before foreplay.” 
– Al-Tibb Al-Nabawi, 183, from Jabir ibn Abd Allah

Islam clearly stresses the significance of mutual sexual satisfaction for partners within marriage. More importantly, it is obligatory in Islam to fulfill half your deen through marriage

“It is lawful for you to go in unto your wives during the night preceding the (day’s) fast: they are as a garment for you, and you are as a garment for them. God is aware that you would have deprived yourselves of this right, and so He has turned unto you in His mercy and removed this hardship from you. Now, then, you may lie with their skin to skin, and avail yourselves to that which God has ordained for you.”
– Qur’an 2:187

4. Islamic ways of making Love to your Husband

According to the Shariah, for mutual simulation, a husband and a wife are allowed to –

  • See
  • Kiss
  • Touch
  • Smell
  • Stimulate (any portion of each other’s body)

Based on the Shariah ruling, if by ‘oral sex’ means inserting the penis into the mouth of one’s wife. This can cause semen or pre-ejaculatory fluid to be inserted into her mouth. In that case, it is not permissible

It is advised to not use any foreign objects during foreplay.

“There is no problem as long as he uses any part of his own body upon her, but he should use nothing other than his body on her.”
– by Imam ‘Ali ar-Reza (A.S.)

5. Have the Intention of Making Love to Please your Husband 

To be an ideal wife according to Islam, you should always intend to please your husband in everything you do. This is also applicable as you make love to him. It is of utmost importance that you take all necessary measures to make your husband content. 

“When a woman prays her five (prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), preserves her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will be told (on the Day of Judgement), “Enter Jannah from any of its (eight) gates.”
– Reported by Abu Hurairah from Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) 

6. Wear Perfume while Making Love 

Wear Perfume while Making Love

You should smell good while making love to your husband. According to Shariah, it is not permissible for a woman to wear any perfume that has too strong a scent. Because this might expose you to the general masses.

You may only use perfume under the condition that you want to please your husband. You should use a perfume that triggers your husband’s desires.  

Acts that are Strictly Forbidden While Making Love in Islam 

Performing Intercourse while facing the Qibla

The direction of the Qibla is Holy for the Muslim ummah. As you face its direction while praying. You cannot compare praying Salah with any other act. So, you should not have sexual intercourse while facing the direction of Qibla.

Not accepting Husband’s Request

It is not acceptable for a wife to refuse her husband’s request to make love. You should never intentionally decline your husband’s request to make love unless you’re going through your monthly menstrual cycle. It’s your responsibility as the lawful wife to fulfill his desires. 

Having Intercourse during Period

It is forbidden to make love while you’re on your period. Because this will hurt you. You should abstain from making love to your husband temporarily unless you’re clean (ghusl) again. 

“Muslims are advised to avoid sexual intercourse during menses so as not to cause discomfort to the woman”
– Quran 2:222 

Making Love in Front of Others  

Making love in Islam is a private act. This is something that even the angels aren’t allowed to see. So, it is forbidden for you to make love to your husband while others within the household can hear any of you.

Making Love While Being Bare

According to Islamic laws, you and your husband should not be completely bare while making love. Both of you need to ensure that you cover yourself with, preferably, a blanket. It is considered a sin in Islam to make love while you remain totally bare. 

Having Intercourse Outdoors 

The process of lovemaking in Islam is a sacred and private act, in Islam. So, it should only be done in your bedroom. It is prohibited for you to make love ‘under the sky’. This is one act that Allah SWT dislikes the most. 

Performing Anal Intercourse

According to the ruling given by Yusuf al-Qaradawi. It is not permissible, your husband should refrain from performing anal intercourse, irrespective of the wife agreeing to it.

“I would strongly advise against anal intercourse,”
– Maulana Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi

“Woman is a means of your pleasure, therefore do not harm her.” 
– Imam ‘Ali ar-Reza (A.S.)

Frequently Asked Questions 

1. Is it permissible for a wife to refuse her husband’s demands?

If either the husband or the wife refuses sex having no genuine reason; rather, they use it as a weapon, then it is considered a sin in Allah’s eyes.

Sayyiduna Abu Huraira narrated that according to the Messenger (PBUH) of Allah SWT –

“When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him, thus he spends the night in anger, the angels curse her until morning.”
– Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim, Riyad al-Salihin, No#. 281

Sayyiduna Abu Huraira narrated that according to the Messenger (PBUH) of Allah SWT –

“By the one in whose hands is my life, there is not a man who calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him except that Allah becomes angry with her until her husband is pleased with her.”
– Sahih Muslim, No# 1436

Based on the above narrations of Allah SWT, it clearly signifies the necessity of a wife to obey her husband’s wishes for sexual intimacy. It is considered a grave sin if the wife refuses to her husband’s desires. Even more so, if it results in the husband committing unlawful acts. 

2. Is it allowed to have a Sexual Intercourse during the Nights of Ramadan?

It is permitted for spouses to have sexual intercourse during Ramadan, only after Iftar (sunset) and before Fajr. This precisely means when neither of them is fasting.

Allah SWT mentions – 

“Lawful for you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach (sexual intercourse) to your wives. They are your garments and you are their garments. Allah knows what you used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now cohabit with them (your wives) and seek what Allah has ordained for you, and eat and drink, until the white thread of dawn appears to you distinct from its black thread. Then complete your fast till the night appears; but do not cohabit with your wives while you are in retreat in the mosques. Those are Limits (set by) Allah. Approach not near thereto. Thus does Allah make clear His Signs to men: that they may learn self-restraint.”
– Surah al-Baqarah, Verse: 187

In the aforementioned verse, Allah SWT clearly mentions that it is permissible for spouses to perform sexual intercourse during the month of Ramadan.

3. What should I do if I end up missing the Fajr Salah because of intimacy?

You should keep in mind that Fajr can be prayed right up until sunrise. So, if you plan on delaying Fajr till sunrise, then you should facilitate your husband. However, if you delay the Fajr prayer till after sunrise, then it becomes Qadaa (performing outside of the designated time frame). If this is the case, then it is allowed to not comply with your husband’s wishes. You should prioritize the Fajr Salah and not perform the Fajr Salah as Qadaa.

Prophet Muhammad SAW mentioned –

لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الله عز وجل                                                                                

“There is no obedience to the creation while disobeying Allah SWT the exalted and magnificent.”

You should also try to perform the Fajr Salah before your husband wakes up. You must discuss the importance & virtuousness of performing Salah with your significant other.

It is also recommended you to recite the Du’a below in abundance.

 رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

 “O our Lord! Bestow upon us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the pious.”       

– Surah Al-Furqaan, Verse 74

4. Is it permissible to perform oral sex?

There are two aspects you should consider when oral sex is considered.

  1. Moral aspect – The act of having oral sex itself is a shameful act. Your mouth is sacred as you use it to perform the dhikr of Allah SWT and do salutations to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Also, we recite the Holy Quran using our mouths. So, performing oral sex will cause your mouth to become filthy.
  2. Actual ruling – Based on the Shariah ruling, the term ‘oral sex’ can mean kissing the private parts or even swallowing the filth. If by ‘oral sex’ it means inserting the penis into the mouth of one’s wife. This can cause semen or pre-ejaculatory fluid to be inserted into her mouth. In that case, it is not permissible.

Conclusion 

Sex is an act that needs to stay between a husband and his wife. Making Love to your Husband in Islam is one of the fundamental needs and Islam teaches all believers to fulfill their desires in a halal way. Halal sex comprises some key rules; are as follows –

  • Refrain from anal sexual intercourse
  • Avoid having sex before or outside marriage
  • Avoid penetrative sex during the menstrual cycle
  • They strictly prohibited the consumption of pornography

Sexual intercourse is not something you, as Muslim couples, should be ashamed of as long as you are fulfilling your needs in a halal way. However, it should not be treated lightly, nor should we should indulge excessively in it. 

As narrated upon the authority of Anas ibn Malik, Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) reportedly said –

“One of you should not fulfil one’s (sexual) need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of kissing and words.” 
– Musnad al-Firdaws Of al-Daylami, 2/55 

Lastly, we also recommend you follow some of the tips on how to adjust with your husband in an arranged marriage.

Omar Abdullah

12 thoughts on “How to Make Love to Your Husband in Islam?”

    • It is important to remember that menstruation is a normal and natural bodily process. It is not appropriate to try to “satisfy” a partner at the expense of one’s own health or comfort. If your menses is prolonged for two weeks, it is important to consult a healthcare professional to determine the cause and any necessary treatment. It is also important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your situation and any concerns you may have.

      Reply
  1. People and their beliefs! It doesn’t matter what the title of the article is- be honest that we live in a male divinity dominated world- but that’s about to change! Complete bs having to serve your husband, or the angels will curse the wife- using fear in religion for personal sexual satisfaction is horrible!

    Reply
  2. I call myself as a feminist and I have been on the roads in Aurat March for asking the basic rights for women. But when I looked at my religion I found that men are considered superior over women. Yes women are weak for their muscles. Yes they have menstrual cycle as well. But they are humans too. Why God only discussed the men’s struggles to be a genuine hsrshipd and then for men He made a women so that men can relax. So many duties are made upon wives and husbands are also told to take care of them and respect them.

    Men are given more shares in inheritance and men are considered superior over women. Husband are given extremely big place and women are made for a specified job. And that specified job is only to obey and serve. For general understanding women are humans too. They must not be just narrowed down to one specified job. I mean to say their freedom must be given to them. Their rights must be equal. It seems like Islam is all about men as hero and the surrounding objects has to serve.

    My whole perception about equal rights are on stake looking into Islam about women.

    Regards
    Ali Shahbaz

    Reply
    • Your taking it very wrong brother Ali.

      It is the opposite as well if a woman is not satisfied she could take her husband to court and vice versa.

      Inheritance law there are many aspects
      When a man marries a woman does he get a dowry?
      Women can ask for £5000 and three gold sets which equal to the amount of approx £9000 to the men have these privileges?

      As well as the inheritance law if we look at how much dowry a woman gets approx £15000 generally and on top of that man must provide work take care of her and her emotional needs paying the bills and paying for the kids!!! it all adds up!!!!!

      If a woman wanted to she could sit all day watching TV refuse to do any house chores but yet husband must take all the burden!
      Soo in reality does the husband really get anything back in return from the inheritance law??? Because he will most likely have to pay taxes & insurances off. In the end he is left with pennies yet the woman won’t be charged any if that.

      Before being rational do your research properly ! PleSe

      People like you feminists and make feminists are corrupting the mind of youngsters

      I’ve studied the religion and I’m nearly a scholar in the religion
      But you my brothers and sisters are sat with your thumbs politely stuck up your asses in secular education and don’t care if your children get taught the religion they need to be good fellow citizens!!! They can miss days off mosque but not one day from school

      I think you all need a vaccination !!!!
      The western community has poisoned you and I learnt this from a very young age!
      Tiday it’s LGBTQ++ tomorrow ut will be incest infected in the society
      The day after Sex with animals will be legalised

      Wake up !!!!

      Reply
  3. How about wifes satisfaction on her husband?? All this things is like rulings for how wife must do and satisly her husband but husband does not required any things to do towards his wife, like is all about man and his desires and womens does not matter as long husbands only gets whats they are asking for. How about if wife does not get ever satisfied and she does it every time only for fearing Allahs anger upon her?? How about her feelings???

    Reply

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