You will hardly find any married couple that does not have issues with their relationship from time to time. The reality of marriage can make spouses upset, and this is quite normal as it happens to almost everybody. However, letting the issue continue for a longer period is something that is not normal.
Although marriage is a blessing, sometimes it can be a test for people as well. Like there is always a dua for every test and tribulation, the marriage issue is not an exception to this.
There are duas for relationship problems, which you can act upon apart from doing the right things to improve the relationship with your spouse.
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In this article, I will share a profound dua regarding this topic, along with duties you have to do to get rid of the issue. Relying only upon the dua will not bring any good if you become careful about those duties.
Duas for Relationship Problems: How to Solve Them Effectively
If you are a practising Muslim, you should know this dua which is mentioned in the Quran in Suratul Furqan verse no 74 –
وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”
This dua is for both before marriage and after marriage. As a bachelor, you can recite this dua as much as possible to ask Allah to give you the right person.
Similarly, after getting married, if you guys are having marriage issues, this is the same dua to bring husband and wife closer because of its vast meaning.
When you are reciting this dua, you are asking Allah SWT to make your spouse’s sakeena for your eyes and heart. Whenever you see your spouse, you are asking Allah SWT to make that person fill your heart with joy and happiness. Recite this dua to increase love between husband and wife as much as possible.
The same goes for the kids. If you are having any kind of issue with your kids, this is the same dua you should recite to solve those issues.
In nutshell, this powerful dua for problems is suitable before marriage to help you find the right person, after marriage to solve the issues between spouses and to solve issues with kids.
No matter what situation you are going through with your family life, use this dua to fix something broken.
I can tell you from my personal experience. Whenever I find that things are not going well between me and my wife, it turns out that one of us is not making the dua which is mentioned in the Suratul Furqan that I have mentioned earlier.
Once I or my wife starts reciting the dua multiple times in our daily prayer, and in times when duas are accepted, things turn out to be better than previous.
The same will work for broken relationships as well. Whether it has something to do with obedience, taking care, fulfilling responsibilities towards each other, or anything related to your married life, this dua is your friend. Consider this dua similar to water that is essential to keep trees (your married life) alive and fresh.
Effective Ways to Make Relationships Stronger
Apart from making regular dua or supplication or prayer, there are things you should work on to make your married relationship stronger. Dua is not going to fix everything for you if you do not fulfil the condition of dua, which is doing the right thing that the situation demands.
Below are the duties or responsibilities you will have to take care of to work on your relationship from an Islamic perspective.
As you already know, marriage is a blessing. But it does not stay as a blessing when the husband and wife help each other disobeying Allah and his Messenger ﷺ.
Allah’s obedience comes first. Even if your spouse tells you to do anything haram or thing that contradicts Allah’s command, you should not do it in the first place, if you want the blessing to be bestowed upon your married life.
If you guys have done anything unexpected, make sincere repentance, and do good deeds to cover up for the bad ones. Try to get closer to Allah to make things right.
Show Good Behavior and Have Sabr
Issues in marriage life mostly come from bad or rude behaviour of one or both parties. If you know it is your behavioural issue, you should behave yourself before things become complicated.
Also, if your partner continuously complains of your bad behaviour, but you do not think your behaviour is an issue, then go to a religious person or scholar, disclose the matters to him, and take his suggestions seriously.
If you find your spouse is behaving rudely, do not do the same to him/her. It will not bring any good, rather it will make things worse. Have sabr, and wait for the right time when you get the chance to speak regarding the disputed issue.
Sometimes, the right thing to do in married life is doing nothing when it comes to disputes and stuff. Do not act instantly regarding things that you feel comfortable with. Make sure you are not angry when dealing with this matter. Otherwise, your anger will take control of yourself, and ruin the matter more than you can imagine.
Give Salam and Gift
Salam itself is a dua. This is one of the names of Allah the Highest, and it increases the blessing when it is mentioned for someone.
Usually, it is sunnah to say “Bismillah” before entering the house and then saying “Salam” to family members. Even if there is no one in the house, it is still highly recommended to say salam.
According to Imam an Nawawi,
“It is mustahab to say Bismillah when entering the house, and to remember Allah, may He be exalted a great deal, and to give the greeting of salam, whether there are any humans in the house or not, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “But when you enter houses, give greetings of peace upon each other – a greeting from Allah, blessed and good”
[an-Nur 24:61].” (al-Adhkar (p. 23)
So, the thing is, when you are giving salam to your spouse and he/she is responding to the salam, you guys are making duas for each other that Allah’s peace and blessing be upon both of you. The more you guys give salam to each other, the more blessing will be in your family life.
Even when you guys do not talk to each other because of any issue, you should try giving salam. It will instantly make things less complicated. You will feel the blessing behind this short dua, which is often neglected when dealing with spouses.
Stay Away from Sins
One of the reasons why our spouse does not obey us, shows disrespect towards us, and does not listen to us, is because of the sin we commit, and mostly these are major sins. Salafs’ used to think that if they commit any sin, Allah will give punishment to their wives and kids.
I can tell you from my personal experience that whenever I commit a sin, my dealings with my wife and kids do not go smoothly. Things become extremely painful sometimes. Then I realize that I am the person to blame for my sin.
Staying away from all major and minor sins will make sure the relationship between the husband and wife stays strong.
Make Durood and Istighfar
Allah SWT sends 10 blessings to the person who sends Durood upon Rasulullah ﷺ once.
So, make a habit of sending Durood to the Messenger ﷺ on a regular basis. You can recite Durood-Ibrahim (the one we recite after tashahud in prayer), or can recite “Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam” only, which is the shortest Durood.
Also, make a habit of doing Istighfar on a regular basis. Family matters like getting the right spouse, gaining obedience or respect or care, having kids, having barakah in income etc. highly depend on how frequently we make Istighfar.
You can simply say “Astaghfirullah” as many times as you want. Prophet ﷺ used to do istighfar 100 times a day.
Arrange Regular Home Halaqat
Sit weekly with your family, and read from a book of hadith or tafsir. It will nourish the spirituality of you and your family members including your spouse, and make them better Muslims who will not hurt each other whatsoever. This is one of the effective methods that scholars recommend to have a blessing in family lives.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why are my duas not accepted?
Duas may not be accepted for multiple reasons. It can be because of the sin you commit, not taking seriously the conditions of making dua, not fulfilling the requirements of a job that you want to get, etc. Be sure to check out this article on why our duas are not accepted and what are the etiquettes of making dua.
How can I make my relationship strong in Islam?
You can recite the verse 74 in Suratul Furqan more frequently, do things that make a relationship happy, stay away from sin, recite durood and istighfar on a regular basis to make the relationship stronger.
How do you make your duas come true?
Not all duas are accepted for valid reasons. If someone makes duas following all the conditions of dua, the chances are high of getting duas accepted.
Like there is almost a dua for all purposes, there are duas for relationship problems as well. But, along with making dua, the husband and wife should also work on things that make their relationship stronger and better.