A wife must always ensure to follow the Qur’anic paradigm while making love to her husband. She needs to be loving, understanding and kind towards her husband during this act. We shall discuss how to make love to your husband in Islam.
A husband and a wife should possess love within their hearts, throughout their lifetime. You should have a look at some of qur’anic verses about love.
|“The most perfect of believers are those most perfect of character; and the best of you are the best of you to your spouses.” – Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban“And of His signs is this: He created for you spouses from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect.”|
– Quran 30:21
6 Techniques that tell you how to make Love to your husband in Islam
|“One of you should not fulfil one’s (sexual) need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of kissing and words.”|
– Musnad al-Firdaws Of al-Daylami; 2/55
1. Be ready to Serve your husband when he Desires
One of the ideal ways to make love to your husband is to serve him sexually whenever he desires. Provided that you are in good health, you must accept his request to make love. Your negligence or reluctance can be a reason to move your husband away from you. If you, as a wife, refuse to have sexual intercourse with your husband, then you’ll be cursed by the angels.
|عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلَى فِرَاشِهِ فَأَبَتْ فَبَاتَ غَضْبَانَ عَلَيْهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ (بخارى ، رقم:٣٠٦٥) |
As reported by Abu Hurayrah from Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) -“When a husband calls his wife to bed, and she refuses and [as a result] the husband spends the night in anger, then angels curse the wife all night till dawn.”
It is vital that you understand the following –
- They bound both the husband and the wife to safeguard the chastity of each other. You and your husband should legitimately satisfy each other’s sexual urge. To preserve the family unit & create a sustainable family, it is essential that a man and a woman protect their chastity.
- If either you or your husband is genuinely sick, in a grim mood or tired upon a mutual decision, you may refuse to serve each other’s needs. This will not entail the wrath of Allah SWT.
2. Cleanse Yourself Before & After Making Love
It is obligatory for you and your husband to clean yourself before you proceed with making love. So, we recommend that you take a shower beforehand. This will ensure that you feel fresh and smell good at the same time.
Looking good is the first step of satisfying your husband. This is undoubtedly one of the best attributes that any husband would look for.
3. Obligatory to Perform Foreplay Before Making Love
It is very important that you engage in foreplay during sexual intercourse. This is especially important for the wife. Foreplay is a crucial ingredient for a happy marriage. So couples should never neglect it.
It ensures that the husband’s and to fulfill the wife’s desires. There can be terrible consequences if your husband and your needs remain unsatisfied throughout marriage.
This exactly why the Prophet Muhammad forbade having sexual intercourse with no forms of foreplay. Spouses have every right to be guaranteed with sexual pleasure while making love.
|As reported by Imam Ibn al-Qayyim in his famous; Tibb al-Nabawi – ” that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) forbade from engaging in sexual intercourse before foreplay.” |
– Al-Tibb Al-Nabawi, 183, from Jabir ibn Abd Allah
Islam clearly stresses the significance of mutual sexual satisfaction for partners within marriage. More importantly, it is obligatory in Islam to fulfill half your deen through marriage.
|“It is lawful for you to go in unto your wives during the night preceding the (day’s) fast: they are as a garment for you, and you are as a garment for them. God is aware that you would have deprived yourselves of this right, and so He has turned unto you in His mercy and removed this hardship from you. Now, then, you may lie with them skin to skin, and avail yourselves to that which God has ordained for you.”|
– Qur’an 2:187
4. Islamic ways of making Love to your Husband
According to the Shariah, for mutual simulation, a husband and a wife are allowed to –
- Stimulate (any portion of each other’s body)
Based on the Shariah ruling, if by ‘oral sex’ it means inserting the penis to the mouth of one’s wife. This can cause semen or pre-ejaculatory fluid inserting into her mouth. In that case, it is not permissible.
It is advised to not use any foreign objects during foreplay.
|“There is no problem as long as he uses any part of his own body upon her, but he should use nothing other than his body on her.”|
– by Imam ‘Ali ar-Reza (A.S.)
5. Have the intention of making love to please your husband
To be an ideal wife according to Islam, you should always intend to please your husband in everything you do. This is also applicable as you make love to him. It is of utmost importance that you take all necessary measures to make your husband content.
|“When a woman prays her five (prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), preserves her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will be told (on the Day of Judgement), “Enter Jannah from any of its (eight) gates.”|
– Reported by Abu Hurairah from Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH)
6. Wear Perfume while Making Love
You should smell good while making love to your husband. According to the Shariah, it is not permissible for a woman to wear any perfume that has too strong a scent. Because this might expose you to the general masses.
You may only use perfume under the condition that you want to please your husband. You should use a perfume which triggers your husband’s desires.
Acts that are Strictly Forbidden While Making Love in Islam
● Performing Intercourse while facing the Qibla
The direction of the Qibla is a holy for the Muslim ummah. As you face its direction while praying. You cannot compare praying Salah with any other act. So, you should not have sexual intercourse while facing the direction of Qibla.
● Not accepting Husband’s Request
It is not acceptable for a wife to refuse her husband’s request of making love. You should never intentionally decline your husband’s request to make love unless you’re going through your monthly menstrual cycle. It’s your responsibility as the lawful wife to fulfill his desires.
● Having Intercourse during Period
It is forbidden to make love while you’re on your period. Because this will hurt you. You should abstain from making love to your husband temporarily unless you’re clean (ghusl) again.
|“Muslims are advised to avoid sexual intercourse during menses so as not to cause discomfort to the woman”|
– Quran 2:222
● Making Love in Front of Others
Making love in Islam is a private act. This is something that even the angels aren’t allowed to see. So, it is forbidden for you to make love to your husband while others within the household can hear any of you.
● Making Love while being Bare
According to Islamic laws, you and your husband should not be completely bare while making love. Both of you need to ensure that you cover yourself with, preferably, a blanket. It is considered a sin in Islam to make love while you remain totally bare.
● Having Intercourse Outdoors
The process of lovemaking in Islam is a sacred and private act, in Islam. So, it should only be done in your bedroom. It is prohibited for you to make love ‘under the sky’. This is one act that Allah SWT dislikes the most.
● Performing Anal Intercourse
According to the ruling given by Yusuf al-Qaradawi. It is not permissible, your husband should refrain from performing anal intercourse, irrespective of the wife agreeing to it.
|“I would strongly advise against anal intercourse,”|
– Maulana Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi“Woman is a means of your pleasure, therefore do not harm her.”
– Imam ‘Ali ar-Reza (A.S.)
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is it permissible for a wife to refuse her husband’s demands?
If either the husband or the wife refuses sex having no genuine reason; rather, they use it as a weapon, then it is considered a sin in Allah’s eyes.
Sayyiduna Abu Huraira narrated that according to the Messenger (PBUH) of Allah SWT –
|“When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him, thus he spends the night in anger, the angels curse her until morning.”|
– Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim, Riyad al-Salihin, No#. 281
Sayyiduna Abu Huraira narrated that according to the Messenger (PBUH) of Allah SWT –
|“By the one in whose hands is my life, there is not a man who calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him except that Allah becomes angry with her until her husband is pleased with her.”|
– Sahih Muslim, No# 1436
Based on the above narrations of Allah SWT, it clearly signifies the necessity of a wife to obey her husband’s wishes for sexual intimacy. It is considered as a grave sin if the wife refuses to her husband’s desires. Even more so, if it results in the husband committing unlawful acts.
2. Is it allowed to have Sexual Intercourse during the Nights of Ramadan?
It is permitted for spouses to have sexual intercourse during Ramadan, only after Iftar (sunset) and before Fajr. This precisely means when neither of them are fasting.
Allah SWT mentions –
|“Lawful for you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach (sexual intercourse) to your wives. They are your garments and you are their garments. Allah knows what you used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now cohabit with them (your wives) and seek what Allah has ordained for you, and eat and drink, until the white thread of dawn appears to you distinct from its black thread. Then complete your fast till the night appears; but do not cohabit with your wives while you are in retreat in the mosques. Those are Limits (set by) Allah. Approach not near thereto. Thus does Allah make clear His Signs to men: that they may learn self-restraint.”|
– Surah al-Baqarah, Verse: 187
In the aforementioned verse, Allah SWT clearly mentions that it is permissible for spouses to perform sexual intercourse during the month of Ramadan.
3. What should I do if I end up missing the Fajr Salah because of intimacy?
You should keep in mind that Fajr can be prayed right up until sunrise. So, if you plan on delaying Fajr till sunrise, then you should facilitate your husband. However, if you delay the Fajr prayer till after sunrise, then it becomes Qadaa (performing out of the designated time frame). If this is the case, then it is allowed to not comply with your husband’s wishes. You should prioritize the Fajr Salah and not perform the Fajr Salah as Qadaa.
|Prophet Muhammad SAW mentioned –|
لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الله عز وجل
“There is no obedience to the creation while disobeying Allah SWT the exalted and magnificent.”
You should also try to perform the Fajr Salah before your husband wakes up. It is vital that you discuss the importance & virtuousness of performing Salah with your significant other.
It also recommended you to recite the du’a below in abundance.
| رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا|
“O our Lord! Bestow upon us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the pious.”
– Surah Al-Furqaan, Verse 74
4. Is it permissible to perform oral sex?
There are two aspects you should consider when oral sex is considered.
- Moral aspect – The act of having oral sex itself is a shameful act. Your mouth is sacred as you use it to perform the dhikr of Allah SWT and do salutations to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Also, we recite the holy Quran using our mouth. So, performing oral sex will cause your mouth to become filthy.
- Actual ruling – Based on the Shariah ruling, the term ‘oral sex’ can mean kissing the private parts or even swallowing the filth. If by ‘oral sex’ it means inserting the penis into the mouth of one’s wife. This can cause semen or pre-ejaculatory fluid to insert into her mouth. In that case, it is not permissible.
Sex is an act that needs to stay between a husband and his wife. Making Love to your Husband in Islam is one of the fundamental needs and Islam teaches all believers to fulfill their desires in a halal way. Halal sex comprises some key rules; these are as follows –
- Refrain from anal sexual intercourse
- Avoid having sex before or outside marriage
- Avoid penetrative sex during menstrual cycle
- They strictly prohibited the consumption of pornography
Sexual intercourse is not something you, as Muslim couples, should be ashamed of as long as you are fulfilling your needs in a halal way. However, it should not be treated lightly, nor should we should indulge excessively in it.
As narrated upon the authority of Anas ibn Malik, Prophet Muhammad SAW (PBUH) reportedly said –
|“One of you should not fulfil one’s (sexual) need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of kissing and words.” |
– Musnad al-Firdaws Of al-Daylami, 2/55
Lastly, we also recommend you follow some of the tips on how to adjust with your husband in an arranged marriage.