How to Stop Complaining in a Relationship: 12 Steps

It is not easy to master how to stop complaining in a relationship. You might have been doing it for so long that you don’t even know how to stop.

The first step is to identify the problem and find out why you are complaining.

Once you identify what triggers your complaining, it becomes easier to deal with it.

You can either choose to ignore the trigger or try and find a solution to the problem that triggered your complaint.

How to Stop Complaining in a Relationship: 12 Steps to Happier Communications

Whether you are the person facing this issue, or you want someone to teach how to tell someone to stop complaining, the following information will help you in this regard.

1.  Stop Complaining about Your Spouse

Stop complaining about your partner’s habits, their bad moods, or even their personality. If you are constantly complaining about them, they will feel like they are being criticized and this can cause them to become defensive. This can lead to arguments that may not have been necessary if you had just kept quiet.

2.  Stop Complaining about Your Relationship

The first thing that you should do if you are having problems in a relationship is to stop complaining about it. If you keep complaining about how bad things are going in your relationship, then you will only make yourself feel worse. You have to learn to accept what is happening in your life instead of always trying to change it.

3.  Change Perspective

You should try to look at things from a different perspective. Instead of complaining about how much money you spend on groceries, think about how much money you save by eating healthy food. Instead of complaining about your partner being late, think about how much time you get to spend together.

Instead of complaining about the fact that your partner doesn’t do his/her share of housework, think about how much energy you would save if you didn’t have to clean the house. By changing your perspective, you’ll find yourself less stressed out and more positive about your situation.

This particular suggestion will significantly help you if you are wondering how do I stop complaining.

4.  Be Honest

Be honest with yourself and your partner. You don’t want to lie to yourself or your partner, but you do need to be truthful. If you are feeling frustrated or angry, tell your partner how you’re feeling. Don’t try to hide your emotions from them.

5.  Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparison is the thief of joy. When we compare ourselves to other people, we are always going to come out looking bad. We can’t help but feel like we don’t measure up to someone else’s standards. This leads us to feel inferior and often causes us to become unhappy.

6.  Don’t focus on what you don’t have

When we focus on what we don’t have, we tend to forget about all that we do have. Instead of focusing on what we don‘t have, focus on all that we do have and how much better off we are than those who don’t have anything at all.

7.  Be Grateful

Gratitude is the antidote to comparison. If we focus on all the things we have instead of all the things we don’t, we will find ourselves happier and less stressed.

8.  Don’t Take Anything Personally

It’s easy to get caught up in the drama of a situation, but if you take things personally, you’ll never learn anything from the experience. Learn how to separate yourself emotionally from the situation at hand.

9.  Focus on the Positive

If you want to improve your relationship with your spouse, then you should always keep things in perspective. Try to remember that even though he/she may act like a jerk sometimes, they still love you. So don’t take things too seriously.

10. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for What You Want

If you’re afraid to ask for what you want in a relationship, then you might end up settling for someone who isn’t right for you. In order to make sure that you’re getting the best possible match, you need to learn how to communicate effectively. You should never let fear hold you back from asking for what you want.

If you’re afraid that your partner won’t agree to your request, then you should just go ahead and ask anyway. If he/she says yes, then great! If they say no, then you know where you stand and you can move on. There’s nothing worse than wasting time in a relationship with someone who doesn’t appreciate you.

11. Don’t Let Your Partner Get Away with Anything

You shouldn’t allow your partner to get away with anything. If you notice that your partner is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, then you should speak up. If you don’t, then you could end up compromising your values and beliefs.

If you’re constantly letting your partner get away with bad behavior, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment later down the road.

12. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

If you are having trouble in a relationship, don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are many people out there who can help you through this difficult time. People like family members, friends, counselors, religious scholars, etc. They may not know exactly what to say but they will definitely want to help you.

FAQs

a.  How do I deal with a complaining wife?

1. Do not argue back. If your wife complains about something, don’t argue back. Instead, try to understand her point of view. Try to find out what she wants from you. You can then work together to achieve that goal.

2. Be sensitive to her feelings. When she’s upset, do not make fun of her. Don’t laugh at her. She may feel like laughing too but if you are insensitive to her emotions, she’ll just get mad at you.

3. Listen to her. Give her time to talk. Let her vent her frustrations and tell you how she feels.

4. Make sure you’re always there for her. Even when she doesn’t want you around, stay close to her. Show her that you care.

5. Tell her how much you love her. Tell her that you appreciate everything she does for you.

6. Be patient. Your wife needs time to adjust to the changes in your relationship. Give her some space and let her come to terms with the fact that you’ve changed.

b.  What do you call a woman who complains about everything?

An old-fashioned word for this type of woman is a “harridan.” Harridan is a woman who complains about everything, usually in an aggressive way.

A male equivalent to this word would be the word “whiner.” A whiner is someone who complains about everything and usually does so in an aggressive way.

c.  How do you deal with a chronic complainer?

If someone complains about something, it usually means that there’s some underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Sometimes it’s a problem at work, sometimes it’s a personal issue, but whatever it is, you need to figure out what’s going on before you can help them.

Conclusion

Complaining is a habit that we all have, but it is not good for our relationships. It is time to break the habit and stop complaining.

The first step to stop complaining is by identifying the things that make you complain. Once you know what makes you complain, try to change your negative thoughts. You can also try to do something different when you feel like complaining. For example, take a walk or read a book instead of watching TV or scrolling through social media feeds.

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