The Islamic Perspective: Is it Haram to Have a Crush

You are probably asking yourself, is it haram to have a crush as a Muslim? The answer to the questions is not that simple. Let’s start by understanding what a crush actually is. 

What is a crush?

A crush simply put is a feeling of attraction towards someone. When you admire someone in an emotional way, whether it be physical or not, then you have a crush on someone. 

A feeling of a crush can happen to anyone, towards anyone, regardless of their race or religion.

Is it haram to have a crush in islam?

Having a crush, or somewhat intense feelings towards another person is a natural human tendency. A fleeting thought or feeling such as a crush is not wrong by any means in Islam. However, when a Muslim acts upon it in an immoral way that is not Islamic, that is when it is no longer a crush, but a sin.

Islam teaches us to have an ethical way of life. Muslims live by certain principles to avoid sin, and one of those principles is having relationships within the borders of what is permissible in a marriage. Which means that acting upon a crush, and engaging in any activity that leads to zina (adultery) is haram, 

Is it haram to have a crush on a boy or a man?

As a modern Muslimah, you are certainly going to interact with different kinds of men. As these interactions increase, you may find that you start to develop feelings for someone. As mentioned before, having these feelings are normal. So if you truly think that this person you have feelings for is someone you can see a future with, then act upon it morally. 

Ask your father or brother or a male guardian, to send a proposal to this person and their family. Start off conversations with chaperones, and then get married to start the relationship in an Islamic way.

It is only haram, when you go beyond the confines of the marital guidelines that have been established in our religion. 

Is it haram to have a crush on a girl or a woman?

For the most part, what applies for a Muslim woman also applies for a Muslim man. A man will have feelings and emotions. But as a Mulsim man, if you want to love a woman for eternity in the eyes of Allah, then approach her father or male guardian, with the consent of your parents/guardians of course, and ask for her hand in marriage. 

Is it haram to have a crush on a non-Muslim?

Again we circle back, it is not wrong to have a crush, even if it is a non-Muslim man or a woman. Race or religion does not define the virtues of an individual. 

But if you want to move past a crush, and potentially marry a non-Muslim, then there are rules and regulations that a Muslim must strictly follow. 

According to Islamic law, as a Muslim man you can marry a non-Muslim woman as long as she is Jewish or Christian. However, there are still conditions that you need to acknowledge. For one, your children must be raised as Muslims. 

As a Muslim woman, scholars have differing opinions, but the safer thing is to ask the person if he would be willing to convert to Islam, and then marry you.  

Keep in mind that if you bring someone over the path of Islam, then you will surely be immensely blessed. It is one of those rare beautiful things that you can do for the Ummah, and the blessings will ripple through many lifetimes and generations. 

So, is it haram to like someone in Islam? Well, are you doing anything immoral? Are you committing a sin? Are you engaging in adultery? If not, then be rest assured, you are not doing anything haram. If you truly think the feelings are valid, then do the right thing and get married. 

But, remember to be careful about these feelings and mixed emotions. Don’t let them evolve into lust and illicit desire. Don’t act upon that lust. If you are confused about how to proceed, consult with your elders and Muslims scholars. Take the advice of people who are far more educated in certain matters of our religion. 

Most importantly, remember that you may not be destined to be with everyone you end up having a crush on. Surely, Allah knows best and Allah will always guide you to what will be best for you.

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