Conflicts in marital life are inevitable. Even if we strive to maintain a happy life with our partners, we never know when an external factor will cast a shadow on the relationship.
Considering this, it is crucial that couples prepare themselves to tackle those issues. Once they have a good idea about the top marriage problems and solutions, only then will they be able to protect their sacred relationship.
Let’s take a look at this matter.
What Are the Top 5 Marriage Problems?
Muslim Life Partner?
In their married life, many couples experience difficulties that are not uncommon. The only way you can prevent them from damaging your relationship is to avoid or resolve the issues. Below we have compiled a list of the top marriage problems and solutions:
1. Poor Communication
Communication is the key to a successful marital relationship. It is often the primary issue most couples deal with. Whenever an unwanted situation occurs, spouses tend to push them aside instead of overcoming it together.
For example, your spouse wants your mother-in-law to stay with you for a certain time. However, her nitpicky behaviour makes you feel that you’re not good enough as a wife. Your inner peace can become greatly affected and if this goes on (with your spouse supporting her), you might want to resort to a divorce.
Your partner might not know what’s going on unless you let him know in detail. If he responds positively, then it is possible for both of you to come up with a solution.
- Sit with your spouse in a room where there’s no one other than you two
- Speak without any hesitation
- Be a good listener. The listener can show interest by repeating what the speaker said
- Never show a lack of interest that discourages your spouse to communicate
2. Financial Issues
Another common problem couples face is with finances. Even if they are wealthy, indifferences in money values can stir up an argument. For instance, you want to stay ahead of your neighbors by purchasing expensive furniture, while your partner saves to purchase a house.
This typically happens because each spouse has been raised in a family with differing money values. Through effective communication between partners, it is possible to make financial decisions together and reach goals.
- Have your partner for a financial meeting at a certain date of each month
- Review the monthly expenditure
- Set a monthly budget
- List the goals that both of you want to achieve
- Make a plan on saving the required amount for achieving each of your goals
3. Inability to Acknowledge Spouse’s Feelings
In a marital relationship, spouses often tend to be self-centered and ignore how each other feels. If you are unable to acknowledge your spouse’s feelings, they can become depressed and feel that they are not understood. Undoubtedly, this can have a detrimental effect to your relationship.
For instance, you want to decide how you want to decorate the entire house while your spouse holds a different concept. If you don’t allow your spouse to express their ideas in the matter, they might feel insignificant. Therefore, it is crucial that you acknowledge their feelings.
- When you plan on doing something, encourage your partner to share their opinion
- If you are against their idea on a specific matter, make them understand nicely
- If they seem angry, quiet, or upset, ask them about the reason
- Give your spouse the space they need
- Encourage them to involve in their hobbies, such as gardening
- Always try to put yourself in their shoes
4. Crossing Boundaries
Each human being has the right to set up their own boundaries. That means they have varied beliefs and values. If a partner tries to cross the other’s boundaries and instill their beliefs, it can cause harm to their married life.
For example, your partner has been a vegan for years. As a non-vegan, you might want to force them to become one. Doing so against their will means you’re overstepping their boundaries and it is something no one should do.
- Don’t overstep your partner’s boundaries
- Always respect their beliefs and values even if they are not the same as yours
- Communicate with your partner openly before making any decision
- If you find it difficult to accept your partner’s beliefs, seek assistance from a Muslim counselor. A neutral third party will ensure that discussions take place in a respectful environment and matters are resolved according to Islamic laws
5. Lack of Appreciation
Another notable issue couples complain about is lack of appreciation. Partners are encouraged to appreciate the good things they do in order to maintain harmony in their relationship. If they fail to acknowledge their partner’s effort, they are likely to feel undervalued.
For instance, your partner has just surprised you with your favorite dish. If you don’t appreciate the love and effort that have gone through the process, you will be hurting their feelings.
- To avoid your beloved one from getting hurt, always try to appreciate even the slightest good things they do.
- Give them small gifts, such as flowers as a token of appreciation
- If it’s difficult to receive appreciation from your partner, try to communicate with them and express your honest feelings
How to Solve Husband and Wife Problem?
Regardless of the issue, it is possible to eliminate conflicts as long as both spouses show willingness. Here’s how to fix marital problems:
1. Communicate Openly
The first step to solving issues is to have an open conversation with your partner. Doing so will help eliminate any misunderstanding and reaching conclusions. It is important that you remain calm instead of expressing anger towards your spouse. Also, make sure to listen to your partner actively.
2. Focus on One Problem at a Time
Introducing a heap of problems to the table will make your partner feel confused and overwhelmed. In case of multiple problems, make sure to talk about one topic at a time. It becomes a lot easier when you solve one problem and then move on to the other.
3. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
People can often influence your relationship with your spouse. If you find someone constantly pointing out your partner’s flaws, you should try to minimize communication with them. Or if possible, better avoid them. Surrounding yourself with those who are supportive of your marriage will bring peace in your marital life.
4. Consider Each Other’s Happiness
Happiness matters a lot in a marital relationship. You shouldn’t prioritize your happiness only but also your partner’s. If your partner does something for you that makes you happy, don’t forget do the same in return. Considering each other’s happiness when making any decision or involving in activities makes the relationship stronger.
5. Understand Your Partner
A marriage is incomplete without understanding between partners. If you get to know your partner’s beliefs, values, and interests and vice versa, there will be less chance for conflicts.
6. Work on Solutions Together
Marriage comes with challenges that are inevitable. If you and your spouse face difficulty regarding any matter, it is important that you both have a discussion and come up with a solution together.
7. Express Love and Appreciation
To reinforce the bonding between partners, it is crucial to show love and appreciation. If your partner does something good for you or if they achieve something, don’t forget to appreciate them. You can also express love towards your partner by writing notes, purchasing small gifts, or taking them to a nice place.
8. Accept Your Partner for Who They Are
No one in this world is truly perfect because there’s no limit to perfection. If your spouse lacks certain qualities or skills, you should accept them for who they are. And if they are willing to improve themselves, your support is what they expect the most.
9. Give Yourself Some Space
Just because you are married doesn’t mean you have to glue yourself to your partner all the time. Self-care is just as important as giving time to your partner. Doing so allows you to refresh your mind and make better decisions, thus improving your relationship with your spouse.
10. Visit a Muslim Counselor
Many couples don’t feel comfortable sharing details about their issues with an outsider, so this is the last thing they usually want to do.
If you and your spouse can’t seem to fix a certain problem, it is a good idea to seek assistance from a Muslim counselor. They will neutrally listen to what both of you have to say and offer practical advice to help you resolve the issue.
1. What Are the Top 3 Marriage Problems?
The top 3 marriage problems are- Poor communication, financial issues, and the inability to acknowledge the spouse’s feelings.
2. How to Work on My Marriage?
It is possible to overcome difficulties in a marriage. To avoid issues or resolve them, it is important to follow the tips mentioned earlier.
3. What is the Most Common Marriage Problem?
The most common marriage problem is a lack of proper communication. Without it, couples will only find the situation getting worse. Unless they properly communicate with each other, they will find it challenging to resolve issues.
Islamic teachings encourage Muslim couples to save their marriage to the best of their ability. You should do that too. By learning about the top marriage problems and solutions, you can minimize conflicts and maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse.
If you know any couple facing issues in their marital life, don’t forget to share what you have learned from this article.